Thursday, 13 August 2009

Junk Mail

SPAM and junk mail is a horrific defect of the cyber culture, clogging inboxes like matted hair in a sink. However, among the multitude of useless information lie some literary gems, albeit equally useless as the rest, they make selling Viagra far more cryptic and pseudo-philisophical than I had ever thought possible.
I used some edits of said junk mail for the artwork in my Recycled Broadcasts EP.
I fail to see the benefits of using these marketing techniques but would love to know how they are made. Here's a recent classic:

From: Stripling Arabajian
Subject: i yi ,h
M EXAMINATION PAPERS.* Ques. Give a rule for the use of the period? Ans. Every period must begin with a capital. Ans. A period is a dot written to the end of a sentence and is used to low the voice. Ans. A period is used for the topage of a sentence and to make our reading sound better than if we had no period. Ques. What is the chief occupation in the South Atlantic States? Ans. The ocoopations cold in the north part, but in the lower part rain seldom fails. FROM A SUNDAY-SCHOOL. The lesson was on The Ten Virgins, and the next Sunday the review question was asked, "What was the lesson about last Sunday?" and a bright boy gave the prompt answer, "About ten gals that went to a weddin." COMPOSITION LETTERS FROM YOUNG PUPILS. My dear teacher, God be with you witch I know he will, as the Song says God can see me every day when I work and when I play. again God is always near me when I pray. I shall nor for get Miss H. her name shall never die out Christ have mercy upon her If God calls her I will spect to meet her in heven at the last trumpet shall sound. I will be thair. Yours truly, Robert ---- Dear teacher, I wish I could write good. I have not done my duty. I will try the next time and do better. I am very sorry. I will try and do better. May God help me to obey my teacher. Miss F. is sick. I hope she will get better. I will try to be like Jesus. I have sign the pledge and have kept it. Now I will close my bad lines. I hope you will come back next year. Good by. Your aff Scholar, James ----

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